5: Martian Manhunter
The strong, silent type, Martian Manhunter is often found brooding in the background of the Watchtower like the shapeshifting chaperone at an 8th grade Halloween dance. Even though he wields incredible power — he’s got pretty much all the powers of Superman plus invisibility and telepathy — for whatever reason he prefers to assume the Professor X mentor/mastermind role and hang back at base. It could be that he’s got one of the worst weaknesses of any superhero: Fire. As in, the stuff that comes out of any Zippo lighter. For all his power, MM probably wouldn’t stand a chance against Don Draper.
4: The Flash (Wally West)
Though Barry has been Flash for longer, Dorkly voters were won over by Wally’s tenure, which has taken up the majority of the last 30 years of the hero. Growing up as Kid Flash, readers grew up with Wally as he matured as a person, from a cocky speedster with a yellow costume to a cocky speedster with a red costume. In the rebooted DC Universe, Wally is now an African-American who uh, grew up on the streets tagging walls with graffiti and… has an absent father figure. Hey, it could be slightly worse — he could have undergone surgery like The Punisher.
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3: Wonder Woman
When you’re talking top 3 at DC, not including Wonder Woman is like leaving Condiment King off of a list of Most Useful Supervillains. Diana is a crucial part of the Justice League’s Trinity, but she shouldn’t work. Her star-spangled hot pants are ridiculous, and her Lasso of Truth is goofy in an age of instant Google fact-checking. Still, something about the strength of WW’s convictions (and you know, the way she punches and kicks creeps) can make you completely ignore her more ludicrous qualities. To say she’s “the most badass woman in comics” is doing her a disservice — Wonder Woman is a contender for the most badass superhero, period.
Speaking in video game terms, Superman is OP. He can fly, he’s ultrastrong and superfast, has freeze breath and can also breathe in space somehow. The dude is functionally invincible, but that doesn’t make him boring. Part of Superman’s appeal is how he has to deal with his veritable godhood when most everyone around him is a mere mortal. His true weakness isn’t magic or any particular mineral — it’s the fact that he feels an obligation to protect a world he can’t ever truly be a part of. That eternal struggle makes him one of the most compelling fictional characters ever created. Well, that and the part where he shoots lasers out of his eyes.
1: Batman (Bruce Wayne)
Well, yeah. We could talk at length, filling a hundred more lists, on why Bruce belongs at the top. But when it comes down to it, you already know: he’s the goddamn Batman.
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